Parents Dealing with Legos

I was never a perfect child. Growing up, in a neighborhood full of boys, made that even worse. After watching movies such as “First Blood”, this paved the road for a troubled youth, basically meaning myself.

My father’s leather belt, was used more on my rear end, than it was worn around his waist! On the day that I got married, and then when the first of my child was born, my father said that my youth would come back to haunt me.

I now have 2 redheaded boys, and to put it to you gently……, my children are the reasons why liquor stores and homeowners insurance companies, stay in business!

As their childhood progressed along, I have had the pleasure of dealing with many different types of toys. Dart guns, comic book heroes accessory sets, and the worst of all….., LEGOS!

I HATE LEGOS! My wife and I, have already buried 2 vacuum cleaners, had numerous cuts and scratches on our feet, and have found missing Legos, in the most unusual places. Such as toilets, couch cushions, garbage disposal, lunch boxes, and yes, the litter box. Every time a one of my children’s birthdays roll around, I tell my friends, that if they value their lives, don’t buy my children Legos. And yet they do anyway. We now have some estimated 10,000 Legos, in our home. Lego play sets, from different movies. Lego carrying cases. And to make it even worse, we have multiple Lego movies and books. I could open a Lego store!

So I have now made it clear to my children, that when they have children of their own, guess what favorite brand of toy, your ole’ pops is going to buy? You guessed it, Legos! I’m going to start slowly stealing them, and putting them in containers, and hide them away. And one dark and gloomy day, when things are happy and right, with their children, grandpa is going to show up at their house, with a U-Haul full of Legos.

I can’t wait to see the looks on the faces of my grandchildren, and also the looks on the faces of my children. Paybacks are wonderful, aren’t they! Just a few weeks ago, when 75% of my house was stricken with the flu, my 7 year old son, stuck 2 headlight Lego pieces, up in his nose. No kidding! We thought we were bound for the emergency room for sure. But he used all the knuckleheaded air, in his head, and blew them right out. After we found out he was ok, I punished him. I’m currently in the works of starting the P.A.L.S Society. That stand for Parents Against Legos Society. Look for us in the news. I’m sure CNN will have us in the headlines.

So to all you parents out there, who have not encountered the Lego world, get ready…..it’s coming.

Good Luck and God Bless!

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